Sexless Marriages/Relationships

Are bonds made to be broken? Every little girl dreams her whole life of assuming her rightful place as Queen of her castle. In order to become Queen, she usually keeps herself (or her virginity) until her King sweeps her off her feet into his huge muscular arms.

Well, what if you waited 26 years for the man of your dreams who tells you that he wants 7 children and has an extremely hungry sex life? However, you realize two years into the marriage that you are the only one that is married. Let’s say that you’ve upheld your vows in every way possible and one day you awoke to an instant sexless, loveless marriage.

No intimacy? What is this? Is it possible for a man to not kiss, hug, caress, or have sexual intercourse with a women for ten years in a row? There are a few items we must consider here. Keep in mind this man claims that his sexual orientation has remained attracted to women. He also won’t undress in front of his wife stating he can not have sex with her because he gained over 140 pounds since their wedding day.

What man grabs his wife’s hand abruptly off his leg, just as she gets close to touching his penis? He refused medical attention to explore reasons for inability to have an erection. What 30 year old man can say good bye to his sex life for 10 years in a row?

During the ten years of a sexless marriage the wife becomes pregnant. Is she wrong for pursuing her needs and desires from another man who can supply those needs?
What obligations does she have to her husband?

Most people would just say he is plainly changing his sexual orientation, cheating, or plain crazy. He continues to claim that he only knows how to love through financial means. To the world, marriage is death do us part but maybe it should be till SEX do us part in marriage?

Is Dancing in the Club With Another While in a Relationship Acceptable?

Personally I think that people make too much of a deal about this issue. I wouldn’t care if my man was dancing with another girl in the club unless he took things WAY TOO FAR. I would be upset if he was groping the girl in a manner that he was about to have sex with her or if his tongue was down her throat! (in that case we would be discussing the terms of our relationship) If the girl was one of my haters or someone who he knew was trying to interfere with our relationship, then that would be a problem also. But getting twerked on by an innocent girl in the club wouldn’t phase me.

In high school, I dated this boy who absolutely hated the fact of me dancing with other boys at a party. He was never at those parties but would ask during our phone conversations afterwards did I dance with someone. Everyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I love to dance (particularly twerk) at parties. I have never been unfaithful in any relationship and I wasn’t exchanging numbers with the people I was dancing with. A dance normally occurs 60 seconds or less. Asking questions of that nature shows that he was insecure about himself; maybe he thought I would end up with them instead of him. When I asked him what the big deal about me dancing with others were, he mentioned the following:

  • Your butt is too close to another man’s penis
  • Dancing is a similar motion to sex
  • That man will know think that he can have you
  • It’s disrespectful when you are in a relationship

My response to him was:

  • Why are you breaking this subject down so deeply?
  • Dancing is not close to sex at all considering no one is being penetrated and all clothing items are intact.
  • it shouldn’t matter if another man want me or think he can have me because clearly I’m with you
  • It shouldn’t be looked at disrespect when I’m not flaunting in your face, I’m not leading him on, exchanging numbers, or putting myself in a situation to come off as a single girl.

This situation with my ex happened in high school and ironically we both still have the different views on this issue! (good thing we are not still together lol) Things have changed since high school and when I go out now it’s rare that I will twerk on another. However, if I happen to do so I think it will be silly for my man to take it to the heart. If my man went on a trip to Las Vegas I wouldn’t dare ask him if he have partaken in getting twerked on. If that is my biggest worry then clearly I have trust issues and shouldn’t be in a relationship anyways.

Now I am aware that there are levels to this! If your mate is portraying as a single individual in the club then that’s a problem. But if they were only partaking in an innocent dance why cry over it. Here are some ways that a dance wouldn’t be considered innocent:

  •  If they are prolonging the dance and transforming it into something deeper that you should only be doing with your mate.
  • If they are grabbing body parts and whispering sexual statements in the other’s ear.
  • If they are making plans to meet up with this individual after the club is over.
  • If when asked about being in a relationship they don’t answer truthfully.

Okay I have asked others their opinion on this subject and there were some who agreed with my stance and there were others who disagreed. Please comment your view on the acceptance of dancing in the club with another below. If you disagree, answer the following questions for me: Would you end the term of your relationship just on a single dance alone? Do you consider it cheating if your partner dances with another? If your partner was not at the same club as you would you dance with someone else? If you went on a  turn-up trip with your girls/boys and danced with another would you want your partner to take this subject so deeply?

The Infamous Durdy Costello

durdy costello 2

When you first hear a song and its jammin what do you do? Well, the first thing I do is research the artist and the producer. The first element that draws me into listening to a new song is how well the beat is mixed. Of course after that, it is the artist’s job to keep my attention with some well intriguing lyrics. Without great producers, music would be lacking an important element.

I became aware of the 27 year old Justin Allison better known as Durdy Costello, by listening to the music from some of the previous artists that I’ve interviewed. It is likely that, most Jackson-based music or artists have at least some connection with the infamous Durdy Costello. Some of the artists he has mixed for includes Doe Hicks, Luck, Young Vegas, J.Skyy, Silas, 4th Quarter, etc.   However, he is not only known locally or state wide. The song “One Time” that he  produced for the artist Doe Hicks premiered on World Star Hip Hop. Durdy Costello, is not new to the music scene. He began in high school making beats and was the dj for most of the school dances.  He currently is one of the DJs for freelons, mbar, and Houston Bar and Grill. Watch the interview I did with him below and comment your thoughts 🙂

Follow: Instagram/Twitter = @DurdyCostello

Contact : [email protected] or go to www.durdycostello.com

durdy costello

Fall 2014 Look Book

Style and Comfort
 
Look #1 Black is the New Black
 
A girl has to stock up on the basics this Fall. My favorite basics are a leather jacket, graphic tees, boots, and comfortable jeans. The best part about this outfit is versatility. Rock your leather jacket on the cool Fall days.  You can remove it to show off your graphic tee on those early Fall days when temperatures get a little warm.
 
 
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Look #2 The Sweater dress
 
This look is for those days when you are in the mood to channel your Girly side, but don’t want to freeze! A great solution is a sweater dress. They are easy to style and you can be cute, warm, and comfy all at once. Throw on a pair of boots or booties, maybe a pair of tights on those really cool days.
 
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Look #3 Skirty Flirty
 
While you have your boots and tights out why not go ahead and rock a skirt. This Fall it is all about asymmetric and wrap skirts. Many come in unique shapes and some even come with shorts! Gotta love a skort.
 
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Look #4 Fit Chix
 
Just because Summer is over and our bikini days came to an end, does not mean that we should’nt continue to exercise and stay fit. This will keep us in shape and decrease the work load for next summer. When you have a busy day ahead of you, rocking your active gear makes it easy to fit some workout time in before, after or in between.
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What is Your Deal Breaker in a Relationship?

What is your deal breaker in a relationship? A deal breaker is the thing or things that you will not stand for in a relationship. If those certain things occurred you would end the relationship immediately. I have a couple of deal breakers including cheating and continuous lying. However, the number one deal breaker for me is when a man talks about what he is going to do instead of actually producing actions. That is something that would cause me to stop talking to someone immediately lol! I had the opportunity to ask some people in the community of Jackson, Mississippi  about their personal deal breakers. Watch the video below and comment and tell us your deal breaker in a relationship!!!