When is the proper time to expose your mate to your child or children? Is there a certain rule that you apply? As some of you guys know I have a child and have dated plenty. I never felt the need to introuduce any of those previous guys to my son. But what if I meet someone that I personally would like to grow with? How would I know for sure that it’s time to make that next step? Some may say, wait till you know that he/she is the one. However, how many times have we thought that a certain person was the one but ended up being “the wrong one”? Plenty of times if you were to ask me. We really don’t know how long someone will last unless we are able to forsee the future. So should we go off the longevity of our prediction?
I have been scarred from watching mothers bring almost anyone around their child, espically this younger generation. Some mothers are not taking inconsideration that you are really hurting the child during thier biggest part of development. I have witnessed some kids personalities being effected in a negative way, resulting from the multiple men that have been exposed to them. I didn’t know anyone that my mother was dating until I was a bit more older to catch on to things. However, she never brought multiple men around me.
When first evaulating the credentials of the person, ofcourse they will have to pass the normal checkpoints to be good enough for you. But here comes the question again! When are they good enough to meet your child? One day I asked my friend who has two kids this same question and her response had me thinking for awhile. She stated that the way you will know that it’s time to introduce your lover to your children, is when you can answer these 3 questions truthfully. Do you trust that he will catch you blind folded on the edge of a building? Do you trust that he is strong enough to catch you? If not strong enough to catch you, do you trust that he will get up there on the edge of the building to be by your side? Those questions are super deep! Can you guys answer all those 3 questions with a yes?
What are the rules that you go by or the standards that have to be met before some is able to meet your child? Is there ever a correct time? Please comment your thoughts below!!!
This is a question that many have to answer. I mean, being honest there are more unmarried mothers in our society today than there are married. I have seen personally more married couples without children than couples with children. Unfortunately, many women make the wrong decision. They bring men around whenever and unfortunately children have more “uncles” than natural family. But I think that your friend is very intelligent and correct. If you can answer those three basic questions, TRUTHFULLY, with a yes, then you can trust them to meet your child. Be honest with yourself to ensure the utmost protection of your child.
I personally feel like there’s no need to introduce a man to your child unless you’ve possibly dated the person for awhile and you’ve sat down and discussed the matter with your partner. Having different men in and out your children’s life is not healthy and as they grow up it starts to effect them.
From past experiences I would truly say once yall are married.. I hate to think I ever introduced my son to the hurt of a man being there one day & not there the next… But then you could be faced with your child not liking the person & that never works.. It’s a difficult situation but I would say 6 months + is not bad timing in my opinion but like you said we think over & over its the one & still could not be that’s where we have to stay prayed up & believe God will protect us mothers from the wrong ones or he will protect our child’s heart which I believe he will regardless… But ladies please know every Tom, Dick, & Harry does not need to meet your child!!
The answers to these questions are really from your intuition. I agree with the relationship has to work for you prior to your child’s knowledge. Most relationships are not relationships. They are just two people having relations. My children don’t need to know when ” mommy has enjoyed some nuts “. Can this individual benefit your child ? Complete home work projects ? Assist with your child passing the ACT ? Add to their college fund ? If not then no. And don’t have the at your house past 4 am when little Jack can wake up too early for school. Discretion is the key.
@QueenB I actually think once you’re married is too late because what if your child doesnt like the man that you have chose? That plays a factor in things as well to me. Also, how do you marry someone whe you don’t know they will be a perfect father figure to your child? Just curious to know more of your logic.
I was being sarcastic wrong time but you’re completely right I don’t date men without kids & to an extent after observing a man around his own children you should be able to tell what kind of father he is.. I don’t really plan to wait until my son is the age that he can tell me who he likes or not & even still he may never like a man no matter what as long as he is respectful he’ll have to understand that this is what makes mommy happy & he is my son not my man.. & no one is perfect so I doubt anyone will ever be the perfect father figure but communication on disciplining & things of that nature will put two people on the same page..
I agree with that @QueenB