Is it ever too late for (an) absent parent(s) to return back into your life? We are in existence because of the direct actions of our parents. We are not able to choose our parents although we wish we could. Many of us are born into this world as a blissful infant without any worries. It is not until we develop further, that we are aware of any lack that we possess in our life. One of the most catastrophic situations is for a child to grow up without a parent(s) that chose to leave that child’s life. It may be easier to understand if the parent was not in control of their abandonment because maybe they are no longer living or they remained incarcerated.
Although, it is detrimental for children to grow up without either parent it can still be done. Usually if one parent is absent the other parent will pick up the slack to fill the void that the child feels. Or God will send someone into their life to be their guardian or just someone to help them as needed. I believe that no matter who was absent in your life you can still be successful if you choose not to let anything defer you. Although, you may have turned out successful in many areas of your life, do you feel that (a) parent(s) being absent from your life effected you consciously, subconsciously, or both?
I grew up without a father raising me. At first, I felt that it didn’t have any effect on me because I’ve never experienced any scarcity with anything I wanted or needed. My mother was a super mom who provided and taught me valuable life lessons that every successful woman should know. It wasn’t until I was reminded of my 5 year old self that I realized maybe the absence of my “father” being away affected me subconsciously. I remembered when I waited up all night looking out the window for him to come pick me up but he never showed. I was the child who cried to my mother asking her a million questions about why he didn’t love me enough to call or come see me. I was that angry child that found any and every picture that he was in just to split the picture in half.
Almost every little girl wants or wanted to be daddy’s little girl at one point. When they are deeply disappointed by their father it becomes one of their first heart breaks. Personally, I am not aware of any daily or conscious pain that I feel from not having my father in my life. But as human nature, we suppress any destructive memories protecting our mind so that we will feel better.
I do believe that sometimes it is better for a messed up parent to be absent from your life, rather than come into your life and contribute more pain than there would have been if they just stayed away. To answer the infamous question, I believe that it is too late for my absent “parent” to return back into my life because what is done is done. I am 25 years old now and no longer holding on to negative people who I have encountered in the past. However, I feel that the best thing to do at this point is for an absent parent to become the best parent they can to their other children, learning from their past mistakes. Or if they don’t have any other children approach their child in the most genuine way if you really want to mend the void.
If you are an absent parent do you ever have thoughts of returning back into your child’s life? What is the rationale behind your absence? If your parent has been absent from your life, do you feel that they are able to return now? Express your thoughts below!
Yes. It is never too late for an absent parent to be in their child’s life. The parents that don’t come back in are afraid that they will be rejected. Children should release fairy tale expectations of their parents’ behaviors and accept them as they are. You don’t want to wake up one day and your parent be dead without you forgiving them and telling them you love them. Also anger, resentment, and blame create disease within the body.
This was a good read. I recently saw this show were they do paternity tests. Many of the cases were adults some even 30+ trying to see if certain men were their father’s. You could tell they were deeply troubled by it. My question is ,do you think it makes a difference if you simply don’t know who your parent or parents are vs knowing their identity but trying are absent?
Sorry for the typo…they are absent not trying*
I feel it’s too late. In my situation a nonparticipating parent returned after 14 years of being absent and contacted my son only once he turned 18. Foul!!!!!!! This individual was not incarcerated just completely chose not to call, text, email, FaceTime, tweet, Facebook, smoke signal, nor Morris code. While this was his choice, I feel like there must be information provided on what the hell happened. And what makes this time different? As a mother I could never go without my child for 14 years for no damn reason just saying.