Author: The Dopest Blogger Alive

After all the stress died down from taking my final exams, I had time to reflect on the negative things that have been said to me from all types of people. Some are people who were dear to my heart and others were people I looked up to.

I must admit that for a small amount of time I did let certain comments effect me but then it hit me like an epiphany! I VOW to no longer take any negative vibes or comments from others personally. The truth is, the negative energy that someone else is throwing out on you is coming from the negativity that’s boiled up inside of them. If someone is doing something to you they are really doing it toward themselves.

During my admission process for law school,  I was told by a mentor that I should choose another career path because my grade point average was too low for any law school to accept me. ( I actually had a decent GPA but it could have been higher but I was involved in a lot of activities during my undergrad studies that shifted my focus but that’s besides the point). My point?  WHY ON EARTH would someone feel the need to say discouraging words to me when I am entitled to pursue my dream. As a mentee you look up to a mentor for guidance and wisdom on your path to achieve your goal.

When I become a mentor for someone I will never say anything that would contribute to move them away from their deep desire. WHO ARE YOU to say what someone will or won’t become? There is a difference between constructive criticism and being a Debbie downer.  This threw me a little to left field because I thought highly of these individuals but then I realized that in all actuality it DOESN’T MATTER at all WHAT SOMEONE ELSE thinks of you. I stayed away from all negative people who gave off bad vibes during my law school process and I continued to focus on everything that I wanted. I received my law school acceptance letter on November 15, 2013, to the school of my choice and I was too geeked!

The people who did not believe or have doubts are the people who second guess everything about their own lives. Those who criticize or judge are also judging their own lives.Example: When you tell someone some great news that just happened to you and they don’t display any excitement or great emotion they may or may be happy for you. That part varies but really THEY ARE NOT happy with their life situation so its hard for them to express their joy for you.

I am so grateful to share that I have successfully finished my first semester of my law school career! No way did I let the thoughts of others stop me from pursuing my goals and reaching them. No way should you let it stop you either. Express a time where someone told you that you would not make it but you overcame the things they doubted. In 2015 continue to block negativity and listen to your own voice. Happy New Year!

Personally I think that people make too much of a deal about this issue. I wouldn’t care if my man was dancing with another girl in the club unless he took things WAY TOO FAR. I would be upset if he was groping the girl in a manner that he was about to have sex with her or if his tongue was down her throat! (in that case we would be discussing the terms of our relationship) If the girl was one of my haters or someone who he knew was trying to interfere with our relationship, then that would be a problem also. But getting twerked on by an innocent girl in the club wouldn’t phase me.

In high school, I dated this boy who absolutely hated the fact of me dancing with other boys at a party. He was never at those parties but would ask during our phone conversations afterwards did I dance with someone. Everyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I love to dance (particularly twerk) at parties. I have never been unfaithful in any relationship and I wasn’t exchanging numbers with the people I was dancing with. A dance normally occurs 60 seconds or less. Asking questions of that nature shows that he was insecure about himself; maybe he thought I would end up with them instead of him. When I asked him what the big deal about me dancing with others were, he mentioned the following:

• Your butt is too close to another man’s penis
• Dancing is a similar motion to sex
• That man will know think that he can have you
• It’s disrespectful when you are in a relationship

My response to him was:

• Why are you breaking this subject down so deeply?
• Dancing is not close to sex at all considering no one is being penetrated and all clothing items are intact.
• it shouldn’t matter if another man want me or think he can have me because clearly I’m with you
• It shouldn’t be looked at disrespect when I’m not flaunting in your face, I’m not leading him on, exchanging numbers, or putting myself in a situation to come off as a single girl.

This situation with my ex happened in high school and ironically we both still have the different views on this issue! (good thing we are not still together lol) Things have changed since high school and when I go out now it’s rare that I will twerk on another. However, if I happen to do so I think it will be silly for my man to take it to the heart. If my man went on a trip to Las Vegas I wouldn’t dare ask him if he have partaken in getting twerked on. If that is my biggest worry then clearly I have trust issues and shouldn’t be in a relationship anyways.

Now I am aware that there are levels to this! If your mate is portraying as a single individual in the club then that’s a problem. But if they were only partaking in an innocent dance why cry over it. Here are some ways that a dance wouldn’t be considered innocent:

•  If they are prolonging the dance and transforming it into something deeper that you should only be doing with your mate.
• If they are grabbing body parts and whispering sexual statements in the other’s ear.
• If they are making plans to meet up with this individual after the club is over.
• If when asked about being in a relationship they don’t answer truthfully.

Okay I have asked others their opinion on this subject and there were some who agreed with my stance and there were others who disagreed. Please comment your view on the acceptance of dancing in the club with another below. If you disagree, answer the following questions for me: Would you end the term of your relationship just on a single dance alone? Do you consider it cheating if your partner dances with another? If your partner was not at the same club as you would you dance with someone else? If you went on a  turn-up trip with your girls/boys and danced with another would you want your partner to take this subject so deeply?