Do you think asking someone how many people they’ve had sex with is an appropriate question to ask? What will you gain by knowing this information? Will the answer be a deal breaker? Do people have a pre limit set up? If someone is over that limit they won’t consider the person as a candidate for a mate? I know I am asking a lot of questions, but I am curious. I actually wouldn’t mind disclosing the amount of partners that I’ve had sex with however; I don’t see the point of being asked this. Freshman year of college I asked someone this and he stated that he lost count years ago. I must admit when he answered the question I was disgusted. We were only 18 at the time and if you’ve had sex with hundreds at that age, then you may reach a thousand sooner or later. However, does it really matter how many people they slept with before you?
I haven’t asked that question again since that day. I have matured and I don’t think that it is appropriate question to ask. If you have already fell for that person it’s not likely that you would stop talking to them just because of some things they have done in their past. Especially if how many sexual partners they previously encountered doesn’t affect you currently. I don’t ask this question because whatever he has done in his sexual past is the past and I don’t want the past to be brought into the future. If he is willing to get tested together and wear protection, that’s what matters to me in the now.
Here is why that question shouldn’t be asked:
- You may automatically judge the person and miss out on them before actually knowing them
- The person may have matured and changed their ways
- There are double standards which may cause a huge issue between you guys.
- The amount of sexual partners you’ve had doesn’t attack your character
It is likely that the average man has engaged in more sex partners than the average woman. In society it is more acceptable for men to sleep around but frowned upon if women do the same. If you are judging someone by the amount of past sexual partners, are you judging yourself? Do you feel that it is okay for men to have more sexual partners than women? Is this an overall appropriate question to ask someone?
Express it Below!!!!!
-Juicy Peach
I don’t think it matters for many of the reasons you already mentioned. Plus why is it important? What do you gain by knowing?
I don’t see no point in asking that question! For me I don’t asked because as long as your clean that has nothing to do with me and now. Your past doesn’t matter in the present relationship! However, if you ask me you might feel some type of way because of my younger days. Since high school and college I have matured a lot. I think it’s better to stay away from that question.
First of all shoutout to the blog and it’s creator you are doing a great job providing a quality forum with interesting topics that affect people’s lives each and everyday so I would just like to say thank you for that. Now to get to the topic at hand. I whole-heartedly believe that asking a person whether they are a potential partner, someone of interest, friend, etc about how many sexual partners they have had is a bad idea and if you are considering asking someone this question I would advise you to think twice about opening this pandora’s box or unsealable can of worms. The first reason you don’t ask how many sexual partners someone has had is because no matter what the answer your perception of said person will be changed forever. When you are making decisons about people you like or potential partners, you want your image and thoughts about them to be as nice and as positive as possible. Once you ask the “question” that is no longer possible because depending on the answer your view of the person has now become jaded and a jaded mind is nothing but bad news for a potential relationship. So to avoid prematurely assainating a person character, labeling them as a “hoe” “freak” or promiscuous, or ending a potential fruitful relationship before it begins think about all that comes with asking about sexual partners and don’t I repeat don’t ask the question. The second reason you don’t ask about the number of sexual partners someone has been with is because and I cannot stress this enough no number is a good a number. When someone ask you the “question” they already have their own number in mind and are at that very moment making a decision about you and the relationship based on that number. For guys, if you ask a girl how many guys she has been with and the number she gives is higher than your own number or just high in general you thought process is this girl isn’t girlfriend or wifey material, yea we can chill and yea we can mess around but that’s it. Their number gets put on the list and when you do hit them up it’s strictly to “get it in”. If her number is low then guys wonder why more guys haven’t tried to get with her and think something must not be right so they keep the girl at arm’s length until they can figure out what the situation really is. For women, if you ask a guys his number and it is high you automatically label him as a dog and think that he is more concerned about having sex than being in a real relationship so you write him off. If his number is too low you too wonder what is up with him so you keep him at arm’s length until you can effectively “assess the situation” which for women means ask their friends, mom, cousins whoever to get in their business lol. Finally the last reason you don’t ask about the number of sexual partners is because the past is the past. Life is about moving forward progress and you can’t do that if you are constantly looking behind you, revisiting, and worrying about the past.
@Mr. Mcfly i’m glad that you like the content! I really appreciate that! I agree that if you ask someone this question your perception of them will change forever! I also feel you that no number is a good number! I never looked at it that way but its true. if I see that a man is 30 and he is a virgin or only had sex with a few I may question that as well lol sad but true. Mr. Mcfly what do you feel is the perfect response if someone asks this question?
I think asking is tacky. We judge each other very harshly and no number will work. Either you are a freak or inexperienced. That person is not going to tell the truth anyway. A better question is what is your orientation. At least maybe you can find out if they are on the DL