I believe that sex is an important factor when connecting with your companion. When I was younger I used to say things like “sex is not important” “sex is not a big deal” but that definitely changed as I matured. Sex can be a great experience when done with a special person. It is a great expression as well. Although sex is important it is not the only important factor in a relationship. You have to have other additional features as well. Some examples are a drive for success, good conversation, an intellectual mind….etc. (it varies on what the person likes) I’m a girl who likes good sex but it isn’t enough when a man only has that to offer. I would rather not have sex than to have sex with a person with no interesting qualities. In the moment it’s great, kisses are passionate skin is tightly wrapped, yes we’re body to body but after the moment is over everything goes back to surface level. Although I don’t thinkTamar was referring to this exactly when she wrote the song pieces but to me this situation qualifies. “But I don’t want nopieces ..Oh no no no no…I don’t want your pieces… I’m tired of giving all of my love.” I don’t want a piece of passion. I want it all. I was in a situation where there was a lot of resistance within our relationship. I could tell that he was not going to be the right man for me but I was so into the passionate love that we made so that did make me stick around a little longer. But eventually I got tired of the incomplete package because I know there is better out there. I can find someone who I can really connect with on all levels. I know that sometimes it seems as if we have someone who’s great but lack sexually vs.someone who is great sexually and lacks the additional features. But you don’t have to choose either situation of lack .(unless the person who lacks sexually can get better, that sometimes can be true but not always the case, but that is another topic lol) I feel like you shouldn’t settle and just attract your complete package to come. No one is perfect but you will find someone who is worth your while. Good sex is not enough by itself.
Have you ever got tired of someone who only offered good sex but not many other great qualities?
How would you let someone go once you’re tired of that relationship?
Do you feel as if sex is an important factor?
-Juicy Peach
I feel like sex is important and I agree that there needs to be a balance. But if the sex is weak I’m not going to be pleasures and lets be honest I may wonder off!
Run for the hills
Sex is definitely not enough. My last relationship was just sex and although feelings grew there was still nothing to look forward to other than the good sex. So of course I stayed longer. Lol. But at some point you need to regain control and not be ruled by the sex. It’s more of a maturing matter. At the end of the day we all want someone to grow with and someone that rouses our intellect as well as our bodies.
-Badd Banana
I definitely feel that the status of the relationship with the person you choose to give your body to is important to determine if sex is good by itself. Okay, so of course we all know that If we have a “Dip”, or “side piece” or “friend with benefits” then all that will come from that in most cases is the sex! now when it comes down to it with me, at the point I am at in my life currently I feel that I need someone who can make love to my mind body and soul! If you do not appeal to me intellectually then don’t bother pursuing me….simple as that. I need a man that can give me intimacy without the sex on occasion as well, who can connect with me on all levels when it comes to wanting success and having the drive to achieve more in life! I am so passionate about a man who can make love to me intellectually so good that it makes me want the D, because the convo and our connection is just that good! So long story short lol I think It takes a lil more than sex in my opinion.
Now you already know that I agree!! Being connected mind body and soul is a must for me right now. In the past it may have been different but like I said previously I matured and I can’t take surface level anything no more!
Very interesting topic
I am loving this post. I most definitely need that connection on all levels now a days. I have been in a few relationships where nothing else really mattered but the sex, and that was cool cause i was young and just having fun. I wasn’t on that deep stuff yet, but with my last relationship the sex was so beautiful and very passionate and I was so in love with that, that sometimes i would have to ask myself, if the hope of us getting back to that part in our relationship was the real reason i stayed all these years after all the mess and stress and not just the kids lol. But just looking back on that, there’s most definitely got to be so much more than just good sex in a real relationship. Cause as you and your feelings grow, even good sex can get old.
I definitely do not think that good sex ALONE is good enough. I have dabbled in casual sex, and for the time it was cool, it intrigued me, simultaneously it wasn’t satisfying my appetite. Although I was getting dicked down by this guy on the regular and may I say the “D” was good he still didn’t have all I wanted. At the end of the day if your constantly giving your body to a person you eventually want them to provide you with other social skills. On the other hand they have been times I had sex with a guy and never talked to him again. After I “CAME” I lost all enthusiasm for him…He didn’t have anything else that I was attracted to. I became very tired of that non-sense and 2 years ago I went celibate…”Yes lawd” this up coming April will make 2 years that I HAVE NOT had sex. I don’t feel forced, sad, or stressed. I haven’t been interested in giving my body to anyone that can’t hold my attention past us HAVING FUN. I’m definitely interested in an out going personality, great convo, ambition for a professional career, and traveling. As my LS once said, “If I can’t connect with you emotionally or spiritually why would I connect with you physically?”
While sex is not enough it needs to be a close second. The intamcy is our spiritual connection to each other. I feel people are loosing the art of sex. Now a days it’s wam wam thank you mam. And for those who choose not to participate in sex make sure you address intimacy with self and learn more about who you really are without that man or woman stuck to you.
If sex was the only benefit in a relationship I would be able to let it go easily. Maybe it’s because I can’t enjoy an activity with someone who I don’t have a deeper connection with. They way my body and mind connection is set up, I have to have some deeper feelings to have a lengthy sexual relationship. Some women have turned off their feelings and are able to just receive that pleasure. I’ve never been that type. Love the article and it’s cool to hear about your new found perspective.
I agree sex with someone should be special. Yet in this generation sex can really make or break a relationship. Though you may love your significant other, great personality and etc. if the sex not there it raises a red flag!! So I’m stuck in the middle between this one.
I can speak to having the perfect companion without the perfect compassion. There definitely must be an even keel, or it won’t last.