To Lurk or not to lurk? That is the question

Okay readers this topic is a huge controversy. Should people go through their mate’s phone? I personally believe that there is no way you should go through your mate’s phone. Where is the trust? Lurking through their phone makes you insecure right? Well I must admit I am GUILTY! I looked through my x-boyfriends phone before. My intent was only to use the phone because my phone was broken at the time, but then I became curious. The infamous quote written by Eugene O’Neil is “curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.” My heart shattered when I found things in his phone that I didn’t expect to see. There were photos of other women, dirty text messages, and more dirty texts! Eventually I was satisfied and glad that I now knew the truth about my man because I honestly didn’t know that it was like that. But it shouldn’t have taken all of that for me to find out the truth. I would rather have him tell me that he was cheating than for me to find out that way. If I have any doubts in the future even the slightest doubt I will trust my impulses. The hurt that I felt from looking in the phone was so painful that I never want to feel that again. I asked Team Flavor to help me distinguish some pros and cons towards searching through a phone but we came up with more cons than pros.

+ (If they are cheating you will now know for sure)

– (If you get caught lurking and their innocent, they will not trust you)

+ (searching through their phone will reveal their true self)

– (Lurking will get addicting,)

– (now your partner has ground to search your phone)

– (they will keep throwing it in your face when in the middle of an argument)

– (you will be labeled as insecure)

I’ve learned from my past and after reviewing the pros and cons list I don’t want to lurk through another phone. I’m going to trust my intuitions and be aware of any red flags that may occur throughout the relationship. Most likely when you feel like something is not right you are correct.

Some obvious red flags that your mate is talking to others are

  • Flips the phone over after texting and  receiving text messages
  • Takes the phone everywhere with them, even to the bathroom
  • Flips out if you slightly touch their phone

Okay readers what do you choose? To lurk or not to lurk? Choose your destiny!

 -Juicy Peach

22 thoughts on “To Lurk or not to lurk? That is the question”

  1. I am guilty of lurking but it wasn’t because I was insecure more so curious as to what my mate was doing on his down time. If you are in a commited relationship your mate should have NO problem with you looking thru his phone. But I will say if you decide to lurk be prepared to see things you may not want to see.

    1. There is no real committed relationships, you are committed to yourself they are just along for the ride. What signs did they show that peeked your interest?


  2. Lurking is very fun, it gives an adrenalin rush, and gives you power. I have lurked, and lurked, and if I feel like I should I will lurk again.


  3. Not to lurk. I’m just a firm believer that the truth will eventually show itself and always go with your first impulse, I do know we all get curious, but just ask your partner if they are keeping something from you and if they can just straight lie to your face they really don’t care about you anyway.

  4. If you lurking u searching for sonething bad & odds are u gonna misinterprut stuff I personally HATE ppl goin through my phone even if I know nothing there….I wonder if girls lurk more than boys???

  5. No. When you think they’re cheating…and you’re not…then they probably are. Before cell phones there was instincts, trust them till death do you part.

    1. forget to death do us part, its till lust do us part. people need to be more honest with at least their selves, even if they dont care for anyone else

  6. I am guilty of lurking..and i must say that I am glad that I did look through that Nicca’s business. #1 it wasn’t a phone that I looked in…it was his facebook messages. I found out things that i didn’t even expect to find & that were traumatizing…information about an abortion he pressured some girl to get that past summer, cheating, and tons of lies. this information definitely spread light on the womens intuition that i already had. However, when your in a deep relationship/in love…sometimes a man can make you think that your tweekin, over reacting, or just being extra tertorial about a certain situation. When in reality..EVERYTHING THAT YOU THINK IS GOING ON….IS. so some times it does take the confirmation of a “LURKING” to make you feel secure about a situation.

    1. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mezzed up. who would leave such a trail on facebook? he wanted to be caught. he gets the “where dey do that at?” award.

      1. ha ha ha ha ha…Hell Yeah! This fool had the nerve to be BRAGGING about the shit to friends….I was even shocked at his stupidity. What’s even more funny…is the face he had when he came home and saw all the messages printed out, and spread across the desk.

  7. Well honestly I’ve lurked before too!! No lurking should be allowed. But see I found a lot of off the wall random things, but those were my attentions! I wanted to find dirt on him so I would no longer feel bad about my dirty laundry, because I also knew it would only be a matter of time!

  8. Don’t lurk!!! The truth always have a way of coming out! I did honestly lurk one time. Feelings was crushed! But mission was accomplished, I looked for dirt for my satisfaction.. because I WAS CHEATING TOO!!!

  9. I am GUILTY GUILTY GUFILTY!!!!!! i have lurked through the phone of my ex boyfriend even after my bff advised me not 2. I couldnt help it cuz he made me feel so unsure about our relationship that i felt i had no choice. Naturally when u go looking for dirt u find it and BOY OH BOY did i find what i was looking for. When he found out i went through his phone he tried 2 turn the heat 4rm him 2 me but that ish didnt work. Not 2 long after i broke things off with him and he was PISSED but hey…momma didnt raise no fool so i jus moved on 2 the men that i was hidin 4rm him in my phone:-)

  10. Don’t go looking for trouble unless you are ready to deal with finding it. If I look through my man’s phone, it’s because I’m looking for something…and I always find it! Same when he goes through my phone…he’s looking for something. If you feel the need to go through a phone, it’s because your instincts are telling you that you KNOW that there is something you DON’T know lol…if that makes sense.

  11. So guilty of lurking but I’m definitely not addicted. When I lurked, it was confirmation to a strong feeling. But anyway, like they say, “Don’t ask a question you don’t want to know the answer to,” don’t lurk if you’re not ready to see the worst. Not saying you should be in denial, but if you’re gonna go that inch to snoop, you should prepare yourself mentally to cope with whatever you’re hit with. Whether it be facing the truth about your mate and relationship or the truth about yourself and your own insecurities.

  12. Hi, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam responses? If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any assistance is very much appreciated.

  13. I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

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